Tumble, coil & fumble

Here are the top 10 of the worst stuff I had to claw my way through and cover this year. This ranged from print, to radio prep notes. I left out the product names since some of the notes just went to editors and never got out publicly. My notes were trying to be as nice as possible, not use any profanity and not be overtly insulting to the creators. I managed to slip in one movie quote though because it summed up my impression best. See if you can catch it :)

TOP 10 OF FAILED TURD VENEER

1. A glorious celebration of WTF-ish-ness with a fresh spark of lost marbles.
   Type: Game
   Actual Rating: ★★☆☆☆
   
   
2. Riding a Dalmatian in the nude wouldn’t make you feel more weird.
   Type: Movie
   Actual Rating: ★★☆☆☆
   
   
3. It carries its motif with a certain je ne sais fuck.
   Type: Book
   Actual Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
   
   
4. Pretty entertaining, but would have worked better with actors.
   Type: Web Series
   Actual Rating: ★★☆☆☆
   
   
5. More fun than peckering a jar of mustard atop the Andes.
   Type: e-Reader Device
   Actual Rating: ★★☆☆☆
   
   
6. Groundhog Train, with bullets.
   Type: Movie
   Actual Rating: ★★★☆☆
   
   
7. The level of usability is only surpassed by a spiked doorknob.
   Type: Mobile App
   Actual Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
   
   
8. Wonderful atmosphere, next time they should try setting it to music.
   Type: Album
   Actual Rating: ★★☆☆☆
   Note: Emailing 9 times a week doesn’t help either!
   
   
9. The show lead with interesting cinematography. The moving cast apear to have caught a still photographer by surprise.
   Type: Web Series
   Actual Rating: ★★☆☆☆
   
   
10. I felt raped, in the face.
    Type: Mobile App
    Actual Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
    Note: If you have to do a cross platform app, in Flash, at least have the decency to exercise trace amounts of taste. Or hire someone who can.